Monday Moaners Club (MMC): Rhetorics

"Workers welcome Mondays, false. Abi it is Monday who welcomes workers. Workers despise Mondays, fact." That was Ochuko's rather confusing welcome back to work opening remarks as he propped his feet on an empty chair and leaned back with his hands behind his head.

Whenever Ochuko adopted that pose, you knew what was coming; a lecture on one of his many convoluted essays and this time, it was about his favourite topic, Monday vs. The Worker with Monday being his least favourite of days. He was going to share some deep seated secrets which we frail humans alas knew nothing of.

This time was different however, I was ready for Ochuko for I had come with a weapon - a secret weapon - to shut him up once and for all.

"What is it about Mondays that make me want to pull my hair out?" He asks. The question itself aimed at no one in particular. Bimpe nudges me with her foot (the office gossip), I pretend not to notice. I was in no mood for mindless chit-chat.

"Again I ask, why's Monday so cruel? I work like an Elephant yet eat like an Ant, why?"

Poor guy, he must have really had it rough over the weekend. Word in the grapevine had it that his ex wife was out to milk him dry but what had that got anything to do with Monday I wondered.

I seemed to be the only one disturbed. I look around the office to note who was there and who wasn't; Ainkai 'rabbit', Bole the 'boulder', myself and Bimpe. Where was Sempei (gossip no.2)? Aww, she would hate to miss out on this. No wonder Bimpe wanted recruiting me, the snitch. They all seemed not to notice Ochuko so it was up to me to hush him up; good thing I had come prepared abi?

"Erm Ochuko," I begin, "if you've got something to say, say it and stop disturbing our ears. Is it Monday you're mad at or your wife, which?"

Too late, I immediately sense the temperature drop in the room. The words were already out there, I couldn't take them back. Anyone who knew Ochuko knew how he felt about his ex wife. It was an open secret, you knew but pretended not to know, that is, until today. I sight rabbit shake her head, wrong move it seemed to say. Well, there was no going back, let the anger games begin I sing song in my head as I brace up.

Ochuko eyes the young lady seated opposite him warily like a Lion eyes a porcupine; to pounce or not to pounce. He couldn't afford another scenario like that of last week, he doubted management would be lenient with him this time around. If only you knew my story lady, he thinks, you'd judge me less harshly. His Mondays had always been ill favoured, cursed if you like. He knew this and saw it as his cross to bear, his alone.

Ztembe: That was below the belt I know but it worked didn't it?

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Hi people, that's a taste of what I'm dubbing Monday Moaners Club (MMC). It'll be a series of short - really short - stories loosely based on the grief all some of us seem to feel whenever Monday rolls round armed with tons of work, lol, no one's left out in its books.  I've seen, heard and picked up a lot about this fella (Monday), he sure has a lot of 'frenemies'. I usually shy away from writing prose but for the sake of some persons, I'll try. Let's call this an experimental project shall we?😁

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